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This’ll be a short post.

So I heard from someone online that he heard from a friend of his who knows someone who’s sister is a nurse or whatever, ANYWAY, apparently there are two strains of the zombie virus. The first was an airborne rabies, more or less, that made people crazy and bitey. The weird part is that there is a latent stage where you have contracted it and are contagious, but not crazy yet. Then, that virus makes way for another virus which kicks in when the body is killed and reanimates the nervous system ONLY and generates enough brain function to make the person want to consume the flesh of others. The second virus is airborne but you’re only susceptible if you have contracted the first virus. You can get the second virus from a fluid transfer without the first virus though, resulting in the hordes stumbling around outside.

Basically what this means is that the outbreak of the epidemic was slower but more plausible. The first virus is all but irrelevant now except that a living person killed without having their brain destroyed can get back up again. So kill everything’s brain. Just an interesting tidbit… It sounds way too coordinated to be natural, so either our own scientists fucked up and accidentally (on purpose?) let this out, or someone else did it. Those crazy North Korean bastards, maybe? I mean, they must know their nukes are shit, so they could have tried something this stupid. It worked, anyway.

The zombies are one thing, but what really scares me are other people. Shit like this drives everyone nuts. I was camped out on the second floor of my house today, just looking out all the windows and trying to gauge the situation outside. There was an extra-huge amount of zombies outside, but then I saw something worse. A jeep rolled down the street with a guy sticking out the sun roof holding some kind of assault rifle. There was a guy driving, a guy in the driver’s side back seat, and two women in the other two seats with their heads down. I wonder what that was all about.

Then a few things happened in quick succession. A zombie I must have missed started pounding on my back door, make loud rattling noises. Then my dog started barking. I ran downstairs and tried to calm him down, soothe him, coaxe him into the basement, nothing. He wouldn’t shut up, and he has a hell of a pair of lungs. To me, it sounded like the single loudest noise in the world. I ran back upstairs and peeked out every window. Hordes and hordes of zombies were closing in on my house. I couldn’t kill the zombie rattling on the door because he probably wouldn’t even stop. Then the other ones would get to the house and starting banging away, too.

I ran back downstairs and pleaded with him to stop barking. Begged him. I pulled my Five-seveN out of my pocket and considered it with a long, sad gaze… But that would make too much noise, and the Louisville Slugger standing up in the corner caught my eye. That would make way less noise…

I grabbed it from the corner and just looked at Sluggo. He wouldn’t quit. Another zom started banging on my front door. No time left. I murmured a quick prayer to myself, tried not to burst into uncontrollable sobbing, readied the bat, and swung for Sluggo’s head. The barking cut off instantly, without even some kind of squeal to signal it had hurt. There was just a gross crunch and he dropped.

I slumped to the floor as I heard first one, then two, then more pairs of hands clawing at my windows. Hours later I’m typing this and they still haven’t quit.