Timmy is definitely, for sure stuck in the well.

I was finally able to IM Big Tim, apparently the power had gone out up in the I Falls area and he almost died. Read on to find out why.

still_human: Big Tim?
big_tim: yes, whos this?
still_human: im not in the i falls area but really close. i need to leave where i am. is there anything i can help with?
big_tim: my girlfriend left to get supplies a few days ago and hasnt returned. im afraid she got picked up by some assholes on the road. the zombies would never take her down. i cant know for sure but i feel like shes still alive.
still_human: y dont u go get her?
big_tim: i cant leave the house. im in a wheelchair.
still_human: no shit? damn. how come you havent been online? you posted your distress signal like days ago.
big_tim: power went out. battery on my electric chair was dead, couldnt get into my other one. electric one is impossible to push by hand if its dead.
still_human: holy damn.
big_tim: i actually almost died. i ended up having to pull myself up the stairs to get more food.
still_human: very matter of fact.
big_tim: it is what it is.
still_human: whats your girlfriends name?
big_tim: we can call her little timmy.
still_human: all right. then im Lassie.
big_tim: i like it. we would be infinitely grateful to you if you could bring her back safely.
Lassie: so whats the plan?
big_tim: keep it simple. meet me in the falls and well figure out a strategy. do you know the town?
Lassie: yeah
big_tim: im holed up in 191 riverfront st.
Lassie: got it. i like that. one step at a time. ill be there as soon as i can. to get little timmy out of the well.
big_tim: …i dont know if im comfortable with u making a joke out of it
Lassie: hey man you thought of the codename not me. and we need to joke to keep our sanity.
big_tim: …
Lassie: so that, at the end of the day, we know were still human.
Lassie: ill be up there as soon as i can.

Now that that conversation is over, I need to figure out how to get out of here. I want to save ammo for bandits, so I need to get out of here quietly. I think I’ll do my zipline plan and bring the air hose with so I can air my bike tires and toss it in  my stolen truck, which I hope still has gas. If someone siphoned the truck, I’ll be in a spot since I’m going for the truck first. If someone siphoned both of my vehicles, I’m fucked.

I loaded up a backpack with ammo, my guns, and as much survival gear and food as I could stuff into it, in that order. You’ll hear from me again when I get to Big Tim’s place. Lassie out.


What’s that Lassie? Little Timmy’s stuck in the well? Again?

It’s become pretty obvious to me that I need to, ahem, GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. The part of me that exists between the other part of me that’s still sane and tries to think things through and the other, other part of me that’s ready to kamikaze all these motherfuckers understands that. The former of those other parts understands that I simply need to escape.

So I’m afraid of the two obvious things I could run into if I try to leave. 1, an overwhelming number of zombies. 2, bandits. Yeah, bandits. I don’t meant to make it sound like the Wild West outside, but it kind of is. With zombies filling the role of “huge amounts of violently aggressive people we can’t understand” previously held by Indians.

I’m no sheriff though. Those bandits would eat me alive. Possibly literally; I wouldn’t doubt people would have gone a little nuts in the last couple of weeks. I’m getting there.

But I think I got the motivation to just get the hell out of this deathtrap. I found a post, which I will transcribe here because I’m not big on reblogging.

Hopefully someone sees this. Inexplicably, the internet seems to still be up, although who knows what servers are up or down. WordPress seems to be up, obviously. But… My group, we need help. I don’t want to divulge too many details because we have a problem of the fellow-living-human variety, but if you’re in the International Falls area and would possibly be willing to help, please IM me.

Thank you, whoever you are,

Big Tim

Now I’m not in the International Falls are, per se, but I could probably get there pretty easily. I tried to IM Big Tim to see if I could help for lack of anything better to do, but he hasn’t answered me. I’ll try again tomorrow.

We lost one today.

This is hard for me to report being that it feels like it’s literally right about to happen to me, and also because it feels so close once you hear it. It seems that I never get quite used to this nightmare that started two and a half weeks ago.

One of our fellow apocabloggers, stillalivescribe, fell asleep while simultaneously blogging and vlogging. He had set both of them to auto upload after a certain amount of time and described what he was doing as “for the survivors.” He wanted us all to be able to see and read what he was doing since the world ended.

Well, we get to see and read it. You’re not gonna see it from me, though. You can find that shit on your own. I’ll give the blog text from when it happened and that’s it. While sleeping in front of his keyboard, a zombie somehow breached his house and started in on the back of his head. It’s all on video, but there was a struggle on the keyboard that was then automatically published later. Here it is, but be warned. It’s unsettling.

Been sneaking up to my roof to light and throw fireworks as far away from the house as possible. I was unprepared on DDay and I’m stuck in here without a lot of food or water. There are probably several dozen tightly packed around my house and all I have is an old revolver with a whole dozen shots. I can’t sleep from the fear and constant scratching and moaning. I’m considering just eating a

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A little while later, he got up, growled at the camera, and staggered away. No fucking lie.

And THAT’s what we’re trying to avoid, every day. But you know that.

Bow Down.

Pointless Human Waste: Your world is over.

Your species has been annihilated. The majority of you walk the streets and earth, dead on your feet. The rest of you are both doomed and not deserving of life. You are nothing. What is different between you and the undead from which you hide? They will devour you. After that, nothing. You will all be one.

The humans of the world have been digging their own hole since the moment they existed. You kill each other in the names of gods who don’t exist. You build weapons of mass destruction to kill wholesale your “enemies.” People who don’t agree with you. Or rather, people who’s governments don’t agree with you. You ignore each other’s pain, suffering, and hunger. Now, you will be unable to ignore each other’s hunger.

Then again, even I know better. As worthless as you all are, some of you are resourceful enough to survive. Some of you are even ruthless enough to regenerate the species with unwilling wombs. But yours will be a world in which you will be confronted by the faces of the deceased on their feet, and the possibility of becoming one of them will loom forever.

I am the Plague Lord. I have brought about the absolution that is the end of your pitiful species. I will allow you to hobble along for eternity, if you are able. In a world in which more of you who stand are dead than alive.