Pitiful.

Eric. I see you and the threesome crew are harboring that little fucker, Coxsucker.

I would give you a chance to kick him out, and I’d say “I’ll spare you” if you did, but I’m not in that kind of mood today. I’m in the “you all die” kind of mood today.

So keep him. It’s pretty obvious to me that you are only letting him stay with you because of his abilities. And I’d like to let you and everyone know that NO ONE FUCKS WITH ME.

So I’ll be letting your friends in Big Falls know of your location… somehow. I don’t think those idiots have ever heard of a computer. But they have guns, and cars, and once I let them know you’re where you are, they can drive up, shoot you up, and make sexy time with your corpses or whatever it is they do with corpses. Make smoothies? I don’t know, those fucks are weird.

I’ll give you and your buttbuddies a week to sit on your thumbs in that house, and then every zombie in the city limits will be taking a little walk in that direction. I can do that. Then, as soon as I can train a zombie to drive a car, I’ll send a message down the highway a ways so, if you somehow survive every zombie in town, the inbreds can come ruin your shit for me.

Because you’re not worth it. I am on the frontier of this new, pointless as it ever has been, but appropriately dead world. You are pathetic worms waiting to be eaten by the birds.

The birds are coming.

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