No post, been busy.

Sorry there was no post the last few days.

I’ve been busy.

Working on defending myself from the shit storm that started, at least for me, last Tuesday. What was I doing all day, and in fact, all night? Zombie proofing my house, as you should be. Unless you’re mobile, which is better. Anyway.

First, at 5 AM (this was on Monday), I drove to Menard’s. Which was terrifying even though it wasn’t that dangerous. I saw a few corpses stumbling around, not that many, but when I drove by, they would turn and stumble after my car. Which is terrifying even though they can’t catch me. And I had to drive around some wreckage and abandoned cars and shit. Mostly at the intersections. But that meant I had to drive at like 10 mph, which sucked with all of those things trotting after me. And once I got into the parking lot, there were still a few harassing me so the only thing I could do was run them over… Yeah.

I don’t know how anyone functions at 5 AM, but there was on person in there facing shelves. I’m guessing there wasn’t any freight to put out on account of the trucks probably not arriving. They have trouble arriving when there aren’t dead people crawling all over the roads. I approached the bespectacled older man to inquire about why the hell they were in here facing shelves, especially when it seemed that there had been more than a little looting already. Because you can sure as shit bet I didn’t go to work that day. The man had a very slow, thoughtful way of speaking.

“I just came in to work same as always. No freight so I just started straightening up. I kind of wonder if there was some sale I didn’t know about because these shelves are empty.”
“Do you know what’s going on?”
“Well like I said, there might have been some kind of sale. I don’t know how I wouldn’t know about it, but anything’s possible I guess.”
“Have you seen the news?”
“TV broke a couple years back so now I just read the paper. Haven’t got it in a few days though. Strange.”
“Did you see the people outside?”
“Oh, the drunks? I pretty much just ignore them.”
I reflected on the fact that one of the ones I had run over was missing an arm and half his face. There was nothing more for me to see here.

I made my way around the store, gathering hand tools (drill, hammer, hack saw, screwdriver set, pliers, etc.), nails, screws, anchors, blackout curtains (at this point I switched from my shopping cart to a lumber cart), boards, plywood, insulation, more plywood, paneling, another lumber cart, three generators, a gun safe (probably pointless), rope, dog food, yards and yards of outdoor extensions cords, an air compressor, air compressor hose, a metal baseball bat, a crowbar, a sledge hammer, a bunch of camping gear, some zombie ammo cans (little plastic box with stupid zombie stuff printed on the side), and a book by Glenn Beck. Because to survive, sometimes you have to be an asshole.

I headed for the checkouts but there were no cashiers. Now, it’s typical to see few cashiers in the Bemidji Menard’s, but there were none. So I just kept on through, bagged up the small stuff, and out I went. I was immediately aware that I wouldn’t be able to fit all of this stuff in my car. I scanned the parking lot for something to steal, and on the far side of the lot was a big white truck. Between me and it, three dead guys. I grabbed my bat from my cart and started forward.

Once I finished making a mess in the lot, I walked over to the truck and tried the door. Unlocked. Keys in the ignition. I just hoped it didn’t belong to the stocker inside. But even if it did, he’s fucked anyway, right? Yeah. I started the truck (half a tank of gas), and drove it to where I left my carts, loaded it up, and brought everything home. I got all of my crap inside but then I had a decision to make: get to work or go back for my car. I decided I could go one more day before building, I didn’t want to build at night, and someone might raid my car. So I hopped on my bike and headed back up town to Menard’s, which took a while.

A bike is supposedly the best vehicle for a zombie apocalypse because it’s quiet, versatile, and doesn’t need fuel. But let me tell you, riding through town without the enclosure of a car for protection and knowing the only way you’re going to get anywhere is if you peddle yourself, with all of those cannibalistic mofos  stanky legging after you… Shit’s nerve racking.

I came to my car, beat off down some zom’s, stuffed my bike in the trunk, and drove it back home.

Tuesday, as soon as the sun came up, I got to work. Scoped out around my house. Nothing for a couple of blocks. That I could see. Seems like they like to hide in bushes. Anyway. I used my drill to cover my first floor windows with plywood and packed insulation between the fiber sheet and the window. The drill is quieter than the hammer and screws hold better. It helps that they’re like three inches long. I covered both the second floor and first floor windows with the blackout curtains (the first floor ones for good measure, just to provide backup for the plywood). Most importantly, I moved all of my supplies to the second floor. Even if the house gets swarmed, I can hold out on the second floor. Especially after I caved in the staircase with my sledge hammer. I would have used C4 or something, but I don’t have any and I don’t know how to control the blast. I was worried the banging of the hammer would draw zombies (trying to get used to the word), but I think I’m OK. I let my dog out of the basement and hopefully he’s realized he can shit in the basement because he can’t go outside, obviously.

I would have posted this on Wednesday, but the power went out for a while so I just went to bed. Thank God it came back on, but I’m a bit incredulous that it would even still be on at all. Or the internet, for that matter. I hope it keeps up. Especially the power… Yeah. Talk at you tomorrow?

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One response to “No post, been busy.

  1. Pingback: Studio Tours | In An Ocean of Noise

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